October 24, 1992

Twenty years ago this morning I awoke to my brother and my dad leaving for the day.  I had the premonition that I needed to go up and give them a hug, but it was a Saturday morning and I wanted to stay in bed.  If only I had known in that moment that it would be the last time that I would hear my brother's voice on this side of heaven.  How little did I know that later that day our lives would be forever changed.

I vividly remember so many details of that day.  Hearing my brother and dad leave that morning. Shopping at Burlington Coat Factory with my mom and sister and finding the PERFECT winter coat for my very particular brother. Mom dropping us girls off at Grandpa & Grandma Fynaardt's where harvest was in full swing.   Grandpa's distressed call over the CB radio and Grandma and Uncle Gary driving off to the field only to turn around so that Grandma could come back and call 911.  Melinda and I looking at each other going "Is this really happening?" The ambulance flying down the driveway with my mom in the van hot on its heels.  Not know if it was my brother or my cousin who was hurt.  Praying with my Grandma, my sister and my cousins on our knees in the middle of the living room.  Seeing my cousin come to the house and realizing it was my brother who was hurt.  The helicopter coming and landing in the field.  Staying at a neighbor's house to sit and wait while all the adults drove to Des Moines.  Watching my Uncle Gary try to eat and seeing the tears dripping from his nose. The awful phone call.  Being held by my parents and more family and friends than I can count late into that night.  A house full of people who cared more than I ever imagined.

What I would find out later is that my brother, Brian, was driving a cabless tractor when it tipped and he was pinned from the waist down.  He was probably in the glory of heaven before most of even knew the accident had happened.


Twenty years ago my life was changed in a single instant. I often wonder how my life would be different had my brother lived.  I wonder what kind of uncle he would be and what he would think of my children. I do find it comforting to think that he is playing with his niece/nephew that we lost when we had a miscarriage.  Life was to short for him and I often think that he missed some of the best parts - falling in love, getting married, having children, etc.

They say that "Time heals all wounds" and while I believe that is true, time doesn't take away the scar and the changes that happen.  I gave my mom a hug today and without a spoken word both of us had tears in our eyes.  We daily cling to the promise that the best is yet to come and that we will see our loved ones again.  We claim this promise not only for ourselves, but for all those who have lost someone that they love.

"For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.  After that, we are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever." I Thessalonians 4:13

Christmas Preparations

Yes it is only October, but we are already starting to think about Christmas. 

The reason?

Operation Christmas Child.

We have participated with our church for the last several years and it has been a really enriching experience.  I remember the first couple of years Micah didn't understand that he couldn't play with the toys that he had picked out.  Slowly the realization dawned that these were for another little boy, just like him, who didn't have what he had.

Last year we paid for our boxes online and then were able to print a tracking label that would tell us exactly which country our boxes went to.  That really brought it full circle for our children. It has truly helped them to understand that there are children, just like, them all over this wonderful world.  Unfortunately not all those children have the same luxuries that we have.

We have to write our "letters" for the boxes yet and I would like to find a little something else to put in them, but for the most part our shoe boxes are complete.  One representing each child in our family being sent to a child of the same age and gender.  Our prayers go with each of these boxes and we pray that these children (along with our own) will come to know Jesus as their very own Lord and Savior.

Merry Christmas (in October)!

How Old Do You Think I Am?

Micah has been reading some of my favorite childhood books - The Mandie Books.  These books are set in the early 1900s and have prompted lots of historical questions and some interesting discussions.  One discussion was as follows:

Micah: Mom, how come in 1901 it took people so long to get dressed?

Me: Well, for one thing they didn't have zippers and elastic back then.  Everything was buttoned or used hooks.

Micah: Ohhhh.....

Me: They also wore more layers than what we wear today.  Especially the women.  They had to wear tights/panty hose, then pantaloons, then several layers of petticoats and then they could put their skirt on.  And that was just their bottom half!  They had several layers for the top half as well.

Micah: (Understanding setting it....) I get it. (Moment of silence.) So, did you have to dress like that when you were a girl, Mom?

(A moment of silence, filled with that look of "I can't believe my child just asked if I was 100 year old!")

Me: Micah! How old do you think I am?!?!

Micah: (Smile filling his face) I guess you are not that old, are you?

Me: Right, buddy. Right.

Facebook Status

In the age of Facebook I often find my thoughts generating statuses without a thought.  If I posted every single one that crossed my mind my Facebook page would be covered and everyone would get tired of my posting all the time! :)  Thought that I would share a few that have crossed my mind from the last 24 hours.

Why does it seem like when I am trying to do things the right way that I continually get beat down (not by people, but by circumstances) and discouraged?

Can someone please tell me why I have not had any problems cracking eggs for years and now I cannot crack one without getting shell in the batter?!?!?

Why oh why must I compare?

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins...Yummmmm :)

Reassurance received this this morning. Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

Just caught my 6-year-old daughter sitting on our back deck in her shirt and panties. Nice.....

Olivia is so cute when she says "Hot Dog"

Love watching my children get along. :) 

^{You never know how much you appreciate something until you have to do without it for a few weeks.  Garage Openers are operational again!  Yippee!}

Nothing like a service man coming to my house "sometime this morning" to get me up and dressed in record time! :)

Watching yeast proof is awesome!  So cool!

Wish these gray clouds would drop a little more rain.

I find it interesting that a website (Facebook) can cause my thinking and thoughts to change to the point where I am thinking how to phrase events in an appropriate status.   Interesting.....